Happy Thanksgiving!!! I hope that this monthly installment of our newsletter finds you happy and healthy, and enjoying your Thanksgiving! This sequence of our school year fall rock climbing and video game making groups are almost finished until January! Early registration discounts for our January groups end December 15th so sign up now.
This issue of our newsletter features an article regarding characteristics that are associated with being the most happy. At Quest, we are proud to provide an innovative treatment program through our therapeutic summer camp and school year therapy groups that have been proven to reduce problem behaviors not only at camp, but in school, at home, and in everyday life. We hope that our newsletter will be a source of support and applicable information to improve the lives of the amazing children and families in our community.
Sincerely,
Jodie Knott, Ph.D.
Director and Licensed Psychologist
Quest Therapeutic Camps of Southern California
Behaviors and Characteristics of Happy People
This month with Thanksgiving here it seemed like a great time to discuss happiness as Thanksgiving is often thought of a time to reflect on what we feel blessed by or what we are thankful for. For this article, I am choosing to summarize a recent article in Psychology Today by Todd Kashdan and Robert Biswas-Diener, two authors who focus on well-being. They note that:
True happiness is more than a jumble of intensely positive feelings--it's probably better described as a sense of 'peace' or 'contentedness.' Regardless of how it's defined, happiness is partly emotional--and therefore tethered to the truth that each individual's feelings have a natural set point, like a thermostat, which genetic baggage and personality play a role in establishing. Yes, positive events give you a boost, but before long you swing back toward your natural set point...That is, happiness is a state of mind, and as such, can be intentional and strategic. Regardless of your emotional set point, your everyday habits and choices...can push the needle on your well-being. [1]
This article by Kashdan and Biswas-Diener present research findings on 5 things that happy people do differently.
1. The Real Rewards of Risk (when anxiety is an optimal state)
Happy people tend to not just stay in their comfort zone, but choose to venture into new territories to try new things since they tend to be curious. Even though curiosity can lead to some discomfort and vulnerability, happy people tend to take risks that lead to more positive, emotional experiences of higher intensity.
2. A Blind Eye to Life's Vicissitudes (the benefit of seeing the forest but not the trees)
The authors report that happy people tend to be less likely to be analytical, detail-oriented, and skeptical about others. They indicate that paying some attention to detail can help to have a realistic worldview, but happy people do this without getting pulled in too far to little details.
This is not to say that we should take a laissez-faire attitude to all our responsibilities; paying attention to details is helpful. But too much focus on minutiae can be exhausting and paralyzing. The happiest among us (cheerfully) accept that striving for perfection--and a perfectly smooth interaction with everyone at all times--is a loser's bet. [2]
3. The Unjealous Friend (we're buoyed by others' good fortune)
Kashdan and Biswas-Diener report that while being able to be there for friends in down times is important it is actually more important when looking at happiness to be able to celebrate with a friend or partner in their most joyful and successful moments.
4. A Time for Every Feeling (the upside of negative emotions)
The authors report that it is important to have a balance of being able to let go of small things, but not to deny their own feelings. Kashdan and Biswas-Diener indicate that happy people know that emotions provide good information and that they don't hide from negative emotions, but instead use this information to change their behavior and situations as needed.
Happy, flourishing people don't hide from negative emotions. They acknowledge that life is full of disappointments and confront them head on, often using feelings of anger effectively to stick up for themselves or those of guilt as motivation to change their own behavior. This nimble mental shifting between pleasure and pain, the ability to modify behavior to match a situation's demands, is known as psychological flexibility. [3]
5. The Well-Being Balancing Act (pleasure and purpose work together)
It is important to find balance between finding fun and pleasure in life, with having a purpose in life since purpose can often drive us to take risks and make changes. They note that people who are happiest are often the most successful at sacrificing pleasures for the short-term to work towards what they aspire for in life. The authors recommend that in order to find purpose it can be helpful to reflect honestly on what you find most rewarding and meaningful, what you typically excel at, what you wouldn't be willing to give up, and what you crave the most.
Kashdan and Biswas-Diener detail that there is more to life than being happy. They note that the "good life is best construed as a matrix that includes happiness, occasional sadness, a sense of purpose, playfulness, and psychological flexibility, as well autonomy, mastery, and belonging." [4] While we can't change everything about our happiness, we can do many things to focus our energy on making healthy habits and choices.
[1] Kashdan, T.B., and Biswas-Diener, R. What happy people do differently. Psychology Today, July/August 2013, p. 52.
[2] Kashdan, T.B., and Biswas-Diener, R. What happy people do differently. Psychology Today, July/August 2013, p. 54.
[3] Kashdan, T.B., and Biswas-Diener, R. What happy people do differently. Psychology Today, July/August 2013, p. 57.
[4] Kashdan, T.B., and Biswas-Diener, R. What happy people do differently. Psychology Today, July/August 2013, p. 54.
